Ronon! Kidfic
by ltcoljsheppard
Summary: This is the result of a kidfic challenge. Shrink one of the team into a child form and use the prompts in the header. Done! John Sheppard will never look at his best friend in the same way again... or he might.


**Title: "Ronon!"**

**Author: ltcoljsheppard**

**12 Day Christmas Kid Challenge- Day 3 / Prompt : Morning, puppy, disaster, little. Bonus: Candle**

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

"Ronon! Put it down! Right now!" Sheppard demanded.

He stood in the doorway, planted there like a six foot tall statue, glaring at the pint-sized terror who was holding a lit **candle** and a handful of colorful streamers which had been used around the city to decorate if for the Earth holiday known as Christmas.

Ronon stood square in his spot, holding the fistful of streamers near the candle flame and simply glared back at John who now towered over him. He hadn't been entirely happy about getting zapped by that mysterious machine on that weird planet, but his rather rapid regression back to childhood then toddlerhood had been unstoppable so far, but the science geeks were "working on it". For now, Colonel Sheppard found himself the unlikely surrogate father to an unruly, rambunctious five year old Satedan warrior with a bad attitude and a flare for **disaster.**

"Give me the candle," Sheppard ordered, his finger still pointing at the** little **boy who glared back. "Ronon... I mean it. Do-o-o-n't.. ." he warned.

Ronon narrowed rather large emerald eyes at his former-commander- now-guardian, setting his jaw in a bit of a slant he moved the candle ever so slightly closer to the flammable streamers.

"Don't do it. I swear..."

Ronon moved the flame closer still.

"Eh!"

The boy narrowed green eyes even more. His fuzzy brown hair stuck up all over the place which made him look like an over-sized Norfin troll doll. With one quick move he slid the flame beneath the hanging streamers and they flashed into a ball of fire... which immediately went out as the gauzy material was consumed rapidly. Even as it lit, he let it go and blew out the candle, dropping it as he scurried for the door.

John tried to grab the mini-maniac, but even at two and a half feet tall, Ronon Dex was fast. He bobbed and weaved and feinted left before sprinting between Sheppard's legs and out the door. He ran as fast as those pudgy little legs would carry him with Lt. Col. John Sheppard hot on his heels.

People, on duty and off, jumped out of the way as the tiny terror scurried around corners and through their legs and around plants and... into a transporter.

"Doh!!" Sheppard exclaimed as he slammed into the doors as they closed, Ronon inside smiling a big toothy grin and waving his fingers at Sheppard in mocking gesture. "Dammit."

It'd been four days and nearly two bottles of Tylenol... he wasn't going to survive this, Sheppard was sure. He slapped his hand against the doors and they opened again. He moved inside and simply thought "take me to where he went" and the transporter did.

Depositing him in a corridor of the main tower, he stepped out and headed for the Gate room. When he got there the security forces were busy chasing the toddler of terror around the dais and up the main staircase. Sheppard took off after him.

"Gotcha!" he called out as he scooped the boy up in his arm and held him at his hip like a boneless ragdoll. Boneless, as Ronon hung there with his arms and legs simply hanging toward the floor... until he got his wind back and started kicking and punching. "OWW!"

"Colonel Sheppard," Mr. Woolsey began in that montone lecturer voice that made John's colon close up and he rounded his shoulders turning to glare at his boss.

"What?" John growled.

"Do I need to remind you that the Control Room is not a place for childr--"

"Do NOT finish that sentence, Mr. Woolsey," John warned and took a deep breath and counted to ten as the growling, snarling, kicking child that used to be his best friend in two galaxies continued to punch and scream the worst tantrum he'd ever witnessed. "Owww! Stop it!" He changed his hold on the boy and flipped Ronon over his shoulder for which he was bitten in the shoulder... "Owww! dammit!".... punched in the kidney... "Nnngh!".... and kicked in the solar plexus... -GASP- !

When he managed to wrangle the out of control boy back to his quarters, Teyla was there to meet him. She grinned at him with a pitiful expression as if she actually understood and could sympathize with what he was going through.

"Oh... don't..." John warned her as the doors opened and he walked right past her.

Teyla tried to bite back a grin and simply followed him into the room. "Would you like me to put him to bed for you?" she asked.

"Ohhh! Ha! Good luck with that!" John laughed sardonically as he dropped the lad onto his couch. Ronon bounced and whipped his hair out of his little face to look up at Teyla... he smiled really big. John sneered at the boy. "Even at four you can be a real jerk," he said.

"John!" Teyla admonished.

"I'm FIVE!" Ronon barked back, holding up all his fingers of one hand. "Not four YET!"

"Whatever!" John shouted back.

"Both of you, stop it!" Teyla reprimanded and both men... well you know what I mean, stopped and glared at the floor... sulking in that manly way men have. She held her hand out to Ronon. "Come on, bed time."

"Fine!" he said and scooted to the edge of the couch and shimmied down to the floor. Stomping away on tiny legs as John glared at the back of his shaggy head from the kitchenette.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The night was uneventful and Teyla slept over "just in case". John woke on the couch as the **morning** sun streamed through his windows and Teyla came out of the bedroom moments later, looking sleepy and disheveled and really sexy. He grinned at her and started the coffee.

"Merry Christmas," he greeted her.

"Merry Christmas to you," she smiled.

Ronon made his way out of the room rubbing sleep from his eyes. "It's Christmas?"

"Yep. Merry Christmas, buddy," John said as a peace offering.

"Yeah, you too. What happens now?" Ronon asked, looking up at John with huge green eyes that nearly melted Sheppard's heart when the kid behaved himself.

"Now you gotta open your present," John told him, nodding toward the tiny tree near the windows.

Ronon spun in place and his mouth dropped open. He blinked wide-eyed at the large box wrapped in colorful paper and big flashy bow. He wondered briefly if those would flame up too then ran to see it.

John watched him with a small grin on his face. When Ronon was actually being a kid he was a cute little imp and John watched as he knelt down in front of the box.

Ronon blinked as the box shuddered and then seemed to bounce all by itself. A high-pitched yip came from inside and Ronon's head snapped around to look at John in awe. John grinned at him and sipped his coffee.

"You'd better open it," Sheppard suggested.

Ronon tore the paper and flipped open the lid, inside was a large plastic crate with a handle on top. He tried to pull it up out of the box but couldn't get the leverage so Teyla moved to help. She lifted the travel crate from the box and put it on the floor, unlatching the front door for him.

Ronon peeked in the grated door to see a large pink tongue and two brown eyes looking back. "Is that a dog?" he asked.

"Yep. You're own **puppy**. How about that?" John said with a smile.

Ronon pulled the pup from the crate and cuddled him up real good. A minute later he put the pup down and stood up, looking around for something. John and Teyla watched with bemused smiles.

"That ought to keep him occupied and out of trouble," John told her and Teyla nodded in agreement. Suddenly John dropped his cup of coffee as he vaulted over the counter. "Ronon!!" he shouted as the boy found the candle and threw it off the balcony yelling _"fetch!"_

\The End/


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